At 4:51 p.m. on a Tuesday, Earth went into default.
The sky over Tucson got a stamp on it: DEFAULT, in crooked red letters a few miles tall. Then every human on the planet got an Appraised Value.
Walt Pruitt's is 1,140 credits. The System's notes on his file read: Mildly Dehydrated. Recommend sale as-is.
Walt is an insurance claims adjuster. Until this afternoon his job was finding the clause that says no. Now the planet has been listed as a "turnkey biosphere, motivated seller." The monsters are Staging Crews: hermit crabs in moving blankets, wearing name badges that read ASK ME ABOUT DOWNSIZING. And Walt's new class is Independent Adjuster. Low combat aptitude. High paperwork aptitude. Universally disliked.
Then the System sends one more notice. His mother has been classified a Fully Depreciated Asset, and her Disposal is scheduled for 7:00 p.m.
We know this is hard. If it helps, she won't remember it.
What Walt has to work with: a red stapler, a dented fire extinguisher, a retired public defender in a purple tracksuit, a nineteen-year-old Circle K clerk with a pricing gun, and a two-foot seahorse notary who is absolutely not a pet. With that, he's going to do the one thing nobody on Earth has thought to try.
He's going to file a dispute.
Distressed Asset is Book 1 of a LitRPG apocalypse comedy, complete with stat boxes, leveling, weaponized fine print, and a surprising amount of heart. For fans of Dungeon Crawler Carl, Defiance of the Fall, He Who Fights with Monsters, and The Good Guys.